cont... it ended with angel throwing the battery out of my phone and taking a knife to my hair. i stayed in the hospital for three days and therapist room for about an hour. no one knows this but angel is still here. she's mad as a b**ch but she can't do anything to me anymore. all she ever wanted was for me to be safe and she always told me humans weren't safe. now i'm saying screw it. my phone was taken away but i know where my parents hide it. i'm writing this from my little sister's computer. for the next four weeks i'm going to write my novel from her computer than print it all. i'm going to clean my room and then leave the book on my bed with a note that says "dear #bf's name# i love you" then i'm going to wait till night. i'm going to take my phone and i'm going to walk to the nearest street highway bridge i'm going to text my bf i love him then jump.
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(i'm 15 yr old girl) a few weeks ago i was put into the hospital for taking up to 15 aspirin pills. i did it because i was trying to get rid of a voice in my head at all costs. it was a week before school was over and i finally decided enough was enough. and i started taking the aspirin. i texted my boyfriend and told him everything. the voice, the pills, ect. then angel (the voice) took over. she called him horrible things and said she was going to make sure i went straight to the looney bin so no one can see me. (she hates people) as she was texting him this i could only watch an cry. it had been the first time i couldn't control her. i had loved him and had only broken up with him a week before so angel would leave him alone. i figured he'd think i was just insane and stop texting but then i saw this. "wait stop...i love ###### and you will never change that. but i please stop hurting her and i'll stay away from her. just please don't hurt her" to be cont.
I used to be a happy person, popular and confident. But someone destroyed all that. I hate her so much for doing that. It all started with what she made me do to my little brother. At first she made me think, hey what you're doing isn't bad and it's not a big deal and besides, he won't remember that you did this to him anyway, since he's so young, so what's the big deal anyway? By the time I realized what I was doing to him was destroying me and tainting his innocence, I couldn't stop. I can't look at him anymore, into those wide, loving, green eyes without going up I my room and crying. I hate this girl with every fiber of my being. She's disgusting and horrible and she makes me want to kill myself. She is constantly putting me down and destroying my confidence and now I can't trust anyone because of her. I can't even smile without her telling me that I'm not worthy to be happy, I don't deserve it. And the worst part is I can neve escape her, because this person... is me.
My older brother is my worst enemy. Hes sixteen and im thirteen. His name is Brock. He is constantly putting me down and bullying me. He knows he hurts me but he doesn't stop. Last night, we got in a really bad fight. My little brothers started crying because we were screaming so loudly. Brock sent them upstairs and locked them in their room. I yelled at Brock to leave them out of this fight, because I love my little brothers so much, and I envy their innocence. I don't want them to end up like me, broken and scarred. Then, Brock grabbed me and kicked me in my gut. He shoved me up against the wall and held me a few inches above the ground by my neck. I think I passed out because the next thing I knew, I was on the ground outside my little brothers' room, listening to them crying. I hate my brother so much and the worst part is that I'm too scared to tell my parents cause Brock will destroy me. I want to just to die by my own hand. But I'm too scared. I'm so sick of being scared. Maybe I should just do it.
I often fantasize about being to dress as a woman and perform oral on a man.