I think girls should only be allowed to reproduce. They don't do everything else too well.
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I smell my farts! And I enjoy it. They smell good. I also love pooping and then giving myself wedgies and swirlys in it! Thats my idea of fun.
I had sex in the library the other day and told the guy to c*m in a book. He did it. And we put the book back.
Dearest Emma W____, You know you're cousin Jordy? Well at his birthday party last spring I got f***ed up on pills and vodka and banged him and (at least) two or three of his friends. Including Nick. Who you've had a crush on since grade school. He gives GREAT head. Also including your boyfriend, Toby. He said I was the best he ever had. They left the door open and let everyone watch and join in. I think they kept going after I passed out. It was a great party, you should have come. Love, L
this girl I was seeing had a baby w some other dude. I was only seeing her for the sex but she thought it was more than that n one time she aksed me to watch her kid cuz she had an appt so i said fine. We were on the couch watching tv when I smell something nasty coming from the kid. I look down n I see shit coming out his diaper n it got on my bran new shirt. I got so mad I took his hand and dipped it in his own diaper. I felt bad after and cleaned him up. I was still mad about the shirt though.
I once threw a small dog across the room for getting on my bed in the morning and barking like crazy while I was sleeping. Don't worry animal lovers. Fluffy is ok :)
when i was little (about 5 or 6) there was this one girl and she was the same age and we always use to sniff eachothers buttholes and sometimes well... lets just say she didnt wipe good enough
A guy got so hammered at a party that he passed out and someone decided to lube up a pen and slide up his a**. The guy was so gone that he didnt even flinch when it went in!
When Im working late behind the bar and I need to use the bathroom I sometimes go the corner of the bar hold a pitcher underneath and filler up. Its too loud dark and filled with drunk people for anyone to notice. Of course I dont serve that to my customers!
some dude at work for year never chipped in for buying soda... He would always drink it all that night and leave nothing for the people who chipped in for the following morning. So one day when we bought the soda, i took a little out and pissed in it to fill the bottle and I put it back in the fridge. The next day that guy told me "yo that soda was mad flat!!!" Hahahaha... victory is mine!